Jewgle Perth’s Politically Incorrect Nursery Rhymes for Purim

Baa Baa Black Hat

Baa, baa, black hat where do you daven Friday night?

Right here in Chabad House, in Alexander Heights

When kiddish is over we get shikker like a fool,

And then on Shabbes morning we schlep to Noranda Shule.

Little Shmuley Yoel

Little Shmuley Yoel sat in a kollel, learning his chumush and gemara

His wife works all day While he shteigs away

And thinks, what a smart boy am I

Yaacov and Jill

Yaacov and Jill ran up the hill

To eat some food from KAWA

The shomer came and left his name

The KA came running in after

Sing a song of past tense

Sing a song of past tense

Of Jewish days gone by

When we lived in Jo’berg

And nobody was frei

When the crowds came over

the population did depart

Now you see them all in Cresswell Ave –

Double parked.

Swing Low, Sweet Zimmer

I looked over my zimmer and what did I see,

Coming forth to the Maurice Zeffert Home

A band of fundraisers coming after me

Coming forth to carry me home

You can come in for bingo, or to volunteer

Coming in to buy kosher meals on wheels

Nothing could be easier, straight from the freezer

Then you have to carry them home.

Little Miss Farbi

Little Miss Farbi sat in Maccabi, that was her first shidduch date.

He was a bochur , a Perth Yeshiva fella,

The chuppah is on Sunday, at Dianella.

Chief Rabbi, Chief Rabbi

Chief Rabbi, Chief Rabbi, Where have you been?

I’ve been to London, to visit the Queen.

I also went to the PHC down there in Perth

Where somebody mistook me for old Papa Smurf.

UIA be Nimble

UIA be nimble, UIA be quick

Have your function during Purim, jump right across the shtick

Little Dianella Shule

Little Dianella Shule

Had a fuzzy niggun tune

First it was a carlebach song,

Then it started going wrong.

Pesach wine made by the barrel,

All of this was due to Darryl

Come on now, when will it end?

Put away that nasty blend.

To this shenanigans we call a halt,

We will only ever drink single malt.

Old Rabbi Coleman

Old Rabbi Coleman was a merry old soulman

And a merry old soulman was he

He called for his new book, and he called for his disk, and he called for his editors three.

And every Shabbat he had a fine minyan,

A very fine minyan had he,

Oh, there’s none so rare, than can compare

With Rabbi Coleman’s history.

Chag CSG

CSG, CSG, responsible for security

On the ball, outside the wall, every single day

Hava narisha, raash, raash, raash.

Hava narisha – raash, raash, raash.

Hava narisha – raash, raash, rash

We have our own booze bus.

Ode to Ipads

An Apple a day

Keeps Carmel School learning

Ipad in the morning

Teacher’s warning

Homework at night

Downlading apps outright

Email before going to bed

text your friends, what they said

Ipad all the time, six days a week,

Ruddy Ipad, very chutzpadik

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