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V’al Kulam Elokei Slichot

This week, in the lead up to Yom Kippur, we focus on putting right all those deeds which we know are in need of correcting.  It’s confession season for Jews!

I’ve come up with a few liturgical additions to the traditional al chet prayer to help the process along.  Feel free to add any of your own. 

  • For the sin of telling my boss I’m going to be sick for every Thursday and Friday of the next month
  • For the sin of reading the Artscroll English and thinking it is a translation of the Hebrew
  • For the sin of blowing the vivuzela at 2.00 am
  • For the sin of casting the first stone
  • For the sin of substituting blended scotch for single malt
  • For the sin of listing my religion as Jedi Knight on the Census form
  • For the sin of thinking that Obama is a Muslim
  • For the sin of being too saarcaastic
  • For the sin of being one of those people, who like to bet, on the net
  • For the sin of voting in a hung parliament
  • For the sin of sending my twitter whale to the Gulf of Mexico
  • For the sin of winning the rat race
  • For the sin of buying at the supermarket and not the kosher shop
  • For the sin of encouraging children to ask questions that have answers
  • For the sin of eating fish and meat with the same plastic fork at Kiddush
  • For the sin of not politely laughing at the joke about the man who brought his dog to shule on Yom Kippur
  • For the sin of controlling the media and the global banking system
  • For the sin of betting on Pakistan to throw the test match

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